Welcome to day two of the IWearYourShirt.com sponsorship month! Don’t forget to submit a photo of your “First Date Attire” to win either a $100 gift card to Amazon, a $50 gift card to Amazon, or a bottle of Sex Panther cologne and a ChampReport.com t-shirt. Sweet. You’ll find the contest here.

Today I’ve got some killer information for you, and when I say killer, I mean it. I get really turned off by all the hype that you hear sometimes from dating gurus, so I want to be clear with you that - while what I’m offering up today may sound simple - it’s all substance and pure gold. These are the five words that have helped me have more conversations with women, learn more about them, and ultimately pave the way to dates and more.

“How’s the day treating you?”

Before you have to worry about what to wear on a first date, you have to actually score the date. I have a slight addiction to Starbucks, so I spend a lot of time waiting in line to get my cup of coffee. I’ll see a couple of guys standing in front of me talking and having a great time and, by the time they hit the counter and the one dude has to talk to the hot barista, he’s stumbling over his words and acting like a fool. This is perplexing. While there are exceptions to every rule, you should approach a basic conversation with a woman (e.g. discussions about the weather, sharing a meal, getting coffee together, sports, art, etc.) the same way you’d approach the same conversation with your best guy friend.

Opportunity is around us every day. There are many moments that pass us by during the course of an ordinary week that we fail to utilize as a chance to build rapport with someone new. Let’s set the stage and play through a situation as you might under ordinary circumstances, and then turn the tables to make that same situation more effective.

Let’s say every morning on your way to work you stop at the local coffee shop to get a coffee and a pastry. And let’s say that, for the most part, you’re greeted by the same cutie you’ve been eying day after day, week after week, month after month. Imagine yourself approaching the counter at the coffee shop. I’ve witnessed situations playing out like this:

Barista: Hey…

You: Hi. How are you?

Barista: Fine. Having your usual?

You: Yep!

Barista: Great. That’ll be $4.59

You: Thanks. Have a good day.

Barista: No problem. You, too.

Friendly, but dull. The above conversation is just one step above obligatory, meaning the barista is being just slightly nicer to you than any other customer because she has to see you every day. But what if you could take these moments and begin to weave something extraordinary? What if these encounters that you have every day could be the building blocks of romance, a relationship, or a fun fling? What’s the secret? It’s all in your approach. Let’s try the situation again, you approaching the counter at the coffee shop, but this time you alter your language.

Barista: Hey…

You: Hey! How’s the day treating you?

Barista: Oh, not too bad. It’s been crazy busy for a Tuesday!

You: Oh really? Why is that?

Barista: *sigh* - Jeremy called off again so it’s just me and Sam!

You: That sucks! I hope your day gets better…

Barista: Thanks. That’ll be $4.59

You: Thanks! Keep your chin up!

Barista: I will. Take care…

There are some important things to note about the above conversation. Did you immediately impress her enough for her to want to spend time with you outside of work? No, and that shouldn’t be what you’re expecting - yet. However, the above conversation did accomplish something significant that the previous one did not: there was a significant exchange on a PERSONAL level. And how did we get there? With one simple sentence that I suggest you commit to memory and begin implementing immediately. Don’t forget it:

“How’s the day treating you?”

Alter it if you will, but keep it basically the same. How’s the night treating you? How’s the afternoon treating you? Whatever. What’s magical about this phrase? Think about it! Compare it with what you’re probably saying every time you go to the gas station, restaurant, coffee shop, or bar:

“How are you?”

The response?

“Fine.”

You might as well have not said anything at all! We are all conditioned to say, “How are you,” and then to respond with, “fine.” “How’s the day treating you” breaks the monotony. IT ILLICITS AN INTELLIGENT RESPONSE! When you ask, “How’s the day treating you,” it unconsciously sends a signal that you care more than the person that came before you in line. It makes people want to share.

Of course, you have a responsibility in this process to use the information given to you once you’ve asked, “How’s the day treating you?” This question is the building block for material that will cement, at the very least, a conversational relationship (hopefully more)! Let’s continue the exercise, starting with the next morning.

Barista: Good morning…

You: Good morning! Hopefully you have a full staff today!

Barista: Yes. Thank God! I couldn’t take another day like yesterday.

You: I can imagine. But you seemed to survive alright.

Barista: Just barely. Same as usual?

You: You got it. Big plans for your day?

Barista: I’ve got a birthday party tonight! I can’t wait! Here’s your change.

You: Thanks! Have fun tonight! You’ll have to let me know how it goes!

Barista: Oh I will! See you tomorrow!

You: See you then!

As you can see, you used Tuesday’s conversation as a foundation for Wednesday’s meeting. And on Thursday you’ll come in and ask her all about the birthday party. See how this can facilitate a relationship?

Like snowflakes, each person is inevitably very different. That considered, each person is going to react differently to your shaking them out of their how-are-you paradigm. By asking, “How’s the day treating you,” you’re setting yourself up for the best chance of success, but you shouldn’t expect the ideal every time. Long term, you are going to get one of three implied reactions from any given individual to this technique. They are:

1. I’m going to say fine no matter what you ask.
2. I’ll give you continued conversation, but only on a basic level.
3. I like you! What’s next?

Later this month I’ll go into more detail about how to handle these three reactions and how to make these five magic words - and the information you obtain with them - work in your favor.  Until then, I think you’ve got some work to do.

How’s the day treating YOU?

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